Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Omega's Wife

I have been told my organs are failing me. That there is no more to be done. I don't quite understand the language they use but they say that my blood is too thin. My bones are all broken, my veins are too weak, my heart is beyond repair. From the inside out, with each passing day, I die a little more. This is not the first time I've been told I will die. I've been in this place before. The only chance was a transfusion from a blood type so rare, there was simply no chance at all. This one person died, but his supply went world wide. He died but his blood was spared. And so it was I came back to life and once again breathed the free air. So how can it be that this blood that brought life can no longer help what it saved? How can it now become my enemy, and send me back towards my grave? 
If it had the power to bring back my life it will surely not lead to my death. I know it is not the cause. I don't believe it, I don't even look down that path.

If only my love would come to me, I know it would set me right. He flushes my cheeks, he's the very air I breathe. His presence brings strength to my heart. He says I am 'the fullness of him' and I could find no greater love in heaven or earth. His heart is matchless, uncontested, of unfathomable, uncontainable worth. His love for me is still a mystery, that I will never fully comprehend. It reaches as far from east is to west, there is no tool that could measure its end. He says my love for him is equally mysterious and that is why he stays by my side. He adores my adoration and so we wait faithfully for the day when I shall be his bride. He is a physician by trade (by one trade) but his methods are foreign and untested. I am in the care of those who don't trust him, his advice is strongly contested. If it were my own way I would just let him do it but my body requires more pairs of hands than just one. Even he says he will not do the operation alone; that the surgery must work in synergy. To me this just means tiresome.

If only this pulse would quicken and run steady with my heart I might have a better chance. If only my organs would work together instead of tearing apart. If you are moved by my story and wish to help, there's only one way for you to play a part. I'm sorry but your money has no power here. You have to give me your heart. Obviously this is not to be taken lightly, I already know it is a big ask. You cannot give this to me without thought, as you must bear the weight of this task. I'm not trying to bully you, I won't force it from you, it has to be your choice from the start. And your life is your own, its all you possess, it's at the very heart of your heart. It may surprise you to know that many have come before, finding there are few that are braver. They give their oath, they sign the papers but when it comes to the plunge, they just can't seem to go under. They cannot comprehend that their death brings life. To them, death is just a dead end. But truly, I tell you, there is no greater love than of one laying their life down for a friend. But when something is so great, it is also precious and 'precious' is so often married to 'rare'. They say a life is all a man has, so how can it truly be shared? 

They say I have no hope, that I won't live out the night, that my deathline will beat my wedding day. That I won't have the strength to walk the aisle, my are hands too frail to even hold a bouquet. They say my dress shall never be worn, it may as well have never been made. But I wait in hope. I will wait through the night, like a guard at his post who waits for morning light. 

And hope does not put me to shame. 

Does the sun not prove that each dawn? Does spring not appear with the pass of each year? Are children not born and grow to give birth? Does courage not overcome fear? Do the tides not return to kiss the sands? Do the seeds not break forth from the ground? Can mountains not be moved? Are miracles myths? Can history not be rewound? 
My answer is yes! Love conquers death! Just give me life and you'll see. I'll come forth radiant, dressed in white light, as the bride I was born to be.

I am asked often, if it were the other way round could I give up my life for a friend? I'd do it for the one who is my whole life; the beginning and the end.

     Gather my limbs, 
 ready the church
     I wait for the organs march.

1 comment:

  1. Louise, you stun me every time. This is also my favourite!
    It reminded me of this:

    'If your limbs can't carry mine then I'll tumble to the ground and you will have to stay away from my heart'